It’s no secret that boys quarrel with both their brothers and their sisters. Most of the issues that cause or enhance sibling conflicts apply regardless of the sex of the combatants. In my presentation, Raising Cain Without Killing Abel, I discuss several cases of sibling rivalry in Scripture and what parents can do about the causes of it. In all those cases, it’s plain that the issues involved could easily cause conflict between siblings whether they were of the same or opposite sexes. Briefly, here are a few examples: Cain and Abel, Genesis Chapter 4: The root is an unresolved conflict between Cain and God. Cain tries to deal with God on his own terms, is rejected and takes out his bitterness on Abel. Read More…
Hey, little buddies!
I was reading in Proverbs this morning and I came across a familiar verse.
It was Proverbs 27:14: “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him.”
In other words, if you want to tell a friend how much you appreciate him, don’t wake him up early in the morning to do it. He won’t appreciate your kind words as much as he resents being awakened from a comfortable sleep. He’ll be as unhappy with you as if you had cursed him instead of pronouncing a blessing on him.
This is just one example of why it’s important to use wise timing in speaking to others. When you have something you really want to say, it’s easy to forget that the person you want to talk to may not be ready to hear you right now. The person may be busy, talking to someone else, distracted or not feeling well. There are lots of times when it’s better to wait than to speak as soon as you think of something to say.
Remember, it’s not just what you say. It’s also how you say it, to whom you say it, with what tone of voice you say it and when you say it.
Hey, little buddies!
Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly.”
Did you know that it’s not only what you say, but how you say it, that can make all the difference in how people listen to you?
For instance, what if your little sister came to you and said she had just planted some flowers in the garden. But it’s January and 20 degrees outside! She asks if you think they will grow. What do you say?
You could say, “No, you dumb little kid! They’ll freeze to death in this weather!”
But that wouldn’t be a good answer at all. You would only hurt her feelings and discourage her from trying new things in the future. She will also be much slower to come to you and ask for your advice in the future. She won’t want to be called a dumb little kid again. Nobody likes that.
But you could say, “You know, I don’t think this is the time of year that people usually plant flowers, but let’s watch them each day and see how they do.” She will very quickly learn that January is the wrong time for planting flowers, so there’s a lesson learned. Better, she will learn it without big brother or sister making her feel stupid.
Speak wisely to others and you will make knowledge acceptable. People will like talking to you and they will listen to your advice if you speak with wisdom and kindness. You will not only pass on knowledge but you will make it acceptable to them.
When you see an interest crop up in one of your children, find the resources needed for them to pursue it.
Make it a part of their “curriculum” and let them pursue what sparks their interest. Maybe they’ll be immensely interested in something for a while and then lose interest and go on to something else as some of my kids did. That’s okay. Their interests will be broadened that way.
Never feel like you have to stick to the traditional school subjects.
Life is so much more varied than the average school curriculum.
God has created the family to be the training ground for children. Since we are all born with a sin nature, righteous behavior doesn’t come naturally. Therefore, it is our primary job as parents to train our kids to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, and mind. That awesome job requires intentional time put into training them to look to Scripture as the practical guidebook for their lives that supplies them with principles to follow and answers to every dilemma they will face. Read More…
I have had to protect my daily teaching time with the kids.
I always put in a load of laundry before school starts and we do a general clutter pick-up in the living room/kitchen area, then I’m free to be there with the kids as they are doing their schoolwork. I’ve tried other ways, but it just didn’t work and maybe it shouldn’t work. Jesus had his disciples to be with them.
School-time works better when you are WITH your kids, alert to their learning needs and engaged to help them concentrate and see what works best for each one.
Do you need more advice on parenting that’s Biblically solid, warmhearted and practical?
May we suggest Parenting from the Heart, this book is the child-training philosophy of a seasoned mom of 14. It is chock full of practical parenting advice and ideas from a Mom whose children range in age from 30 to 6 years.